The paradox of self-denial
image from blogs.nd.edu
Paradoxes have recently driven my thought life, and faith. Even my tech experiences. My old laptop’s birth way back in 2018 explained its slow work, how it sometimes froze. So I bought a new one, yet delayed transferring over, and the issues increased. Finally, four months after the purchase, I started the transfer on Saturday. It’s still undone. I can’t get Google Chrome on it, a requested router password didn’t work, although I took it directly off the router. The paradox? I bought the new one to be able to work more quickly, yet it’s taking a LOT of work to get the faster tool to work.
Paradoxes comprise faith, and that continues to attract me—I like the concept of a God I can’t comprehend fully. Like Jesus’ statement, “if you save your life you’ll lose it.” Or, the tension between what we do and what God does in transforming us. I’ve battled that one. A lot.
Before we began
I wondered
could you fill
the voids in my life
change the traits I could not?
I yielded
You did it all
which leads me to believe
you have power to transform
In our early years
I wondered
could others experience you
as I did
transformation beyond themselves?
They yielded
You did it all
again
which leads me to believe
you have power to transform
As years passed
I wondered
why some (even I at times) had
lives untransformed
hopes disappointed?
You didn’t do it
these times
which leads me to believe
your power has limits
In recent years
that sense of wonder gone
I think I’ve seen the key
which leads me to believe
you work in yielded lives
Another paradox—early on, I thought that the more I yielded, or said yes to God without reservation, the more my true self would disappear. In my self-absorption, that bothered me. Paradoxically, I’ve since found the opposite: I become more fully me. The best parts emerge; the worst parts submerge. But that deep transformation only occurs when I say yes; as a gentleman, God tends to not dominate but to nurture willing lives.
Kick Starting the Application
Have you noticed in your own life that the more you yield to God the more he works to transform you into your best true self? What most causes you to resist cooperating with him? Why do you do that? What one area this week can you intentionally and sincerely yield in? I encourage you, if you do that, please share that result—either on this blog, the Facebook discussion, or with friends.