Remember the old rock song, “Bad to the Bone,” about a guy who bragged his badness went to the core of his being? Let me tell you about another. A real one. At 20, he committed armed robbery and escaped. Two months later he was arrested for fraud, sentenced to three to five years. Upon release at 23, he was arrested for the earlier robbery and sent to Leavenworth. Upon getting out, he joined the army and soon got discharged for having syphilis at 26. At 27 he quickly married a young country girl, got her pregnant and more quickly left, only to marry another young girl two days before his son was born. With no divorce. Once more going to prison. He spent the rest of his life as a con man, dying early at 52 from his syphilis. This dude was bad to the bone. In his wake, he left only loss and deceit and pain. He was my grandfather.
Let me suggest the opposite—that we devote ourselves to being kind to the bone. Where kindness becomes, not something occasional, nor to benefit ourselves, but imbedded in our character. Here’s why, and how.
The word for kindness as a fruit of the Spirit is also translated as gentleness, goodness, excellence. A lack of those makes life rough for both the givers and receivers. More significantly for followers of Jesus, we reject God’s nature and what he desires to do in us. God’s nature is kindness for all, “you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked” (Luke 6:35), and he wants his people to have that kindness in their nature, “The fruit of the Spirit is…kindness” (Galatians 5:22). Kindness flows from our new spiritual nature when we treat all with it, even when they don’t deserve it. Think with me: do the best of us deserve kindness on our merit? I suspect we all need more of it, so let’s make some choices.
A few tips on nurturing kindness.
1 Help people in need. In Acts 4:9, Peter and John healed a crippled beggar, and Peter called it “an act of kindness shown to a cripple.” We meet needs when we see them and are able.
2 Think before we speak. Paul described counterintuitive ways that followers respond, “When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly” (1 Corinthian 4:12-13). Before we speak, we think of kind words. We think of the tone of our voice. We think of our facial expressions. Why? Because we want to show kindness to people who don’t deserve it. But God deserves his followers show his version of kindness.
3 Forgive and don’t hold grudges. We all get offended, but do we bring kindness into the equation of how we respond? “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God” (Ephesians 4:31-5:1). Once more, scripture calls us to treat others as he has treated us. Kindness shows we’ve granted others the same kindness and forgiveness that He has granted us.
I learned long ago that treating people kindly allowed me to get my way more often. But that was a false, surface, selfish kindness. May God’s kindness flow out of our lives, because we’ve allowed kindness to penetrate deeply, to our bones.
Kick Starting the Application
Does it sometimes bother you that God is kind to all, even his enemies? Why? What weeds in your life most threaten the nurturing of kindness? How can you pull those weeds? Think of a time that God showed you tremendous kindness to you. Then, when you’re tempted to not be kind, remember his grace, and try to pass that on to your offender.