Been Gone Too Long

Mother Lion and Cub from Pinterest

Thomas Wolfe’s novel You Can’t Go Home Again has become a catchphrase, a metaphor of the impossibility because people and places inevitably change. After six decades of three annual trips to the Sierras, I then entirely missed three years, for various reasons. So I eagerly expected a great return to my beloved Rock Creek above Tom’s Place. A relatively minor change in my favorite camping spot should have brought Wolfe’s line to mind on greater changes. It did not.

Been gone too long

            to expect to step back in

            with things just the same

three years without fishing my beloved Sierra high country

three years of lessened exercise due to health issues

three years of decreased endurance and energy due to meds

Day One at 7,500 feet

            fishing uphill on a brushy stream

            exhausted

            heart pounding

            needing to find convenient rocks

                        to collapse on

                        allowing the pulse to slow

            hobbling, slowly, with a bad knee

                        over rocks I once bounded over

            nearly stumbling often

            and fully once

Day Four at 9,000 feet

            doing better

            acclimating

            pondering a new knee

Though hope lies eternal in the human breast

            I finally expect less

Expectations can certainly discourage us. More than just hoping, I expected this trip to touch my soul like the earlier. But I couldn’t go home to what had been, my physical condition had changed beyond my awareness of the extent. I blew Paul’s injunction, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment” (Romans 12:3).

Not sure this would qualify quality-wise as a poem, but I learned its lesson decades back, then apparently forgot it: “Never allow hope to grow into expectation; that merely breeds disappointment.”

The lesson: temper our expectations. Much of what we hope for exceeds our control. People can interfere. Life interrupts. And sometimes God steps in with something better. So we hope, we pray, we do what we can, but we wisely don’t expect them all to arrive. A passage in Ezekiel uses a mother lion as a metaphor for Israel, with her cubs becoming the kings, “When she saw her hope unfulfilled, her expectation gone, she took another of her cubs and made him a strong lion” (Ezekiel 19:5).

So, a couple of tips on how to manage our hopes and expectations.

First, be cautious with expecting things beyond what God has promised. We all have dreams and goals, so we pray and act and hope. But God qualifies an oft-quoted promise, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Proverbs 37:4). We get the desires of our hearts…when our delight is in God and not our own desires.

Second, like the momma lion, when your expectations don’t come to pass, adapt. Don’t quit. And realize that God always loves and guides and comforts us, even when our expectations aren’t met.

Kick Starting the Application

How do you choose to allow hopes to grow into expectations? Do you expect things that God hasn’t promised? Do you delight in him above all else?