I lean to rationalism, with a decent desire to know more, to question, to search. Many verses encourage that spirit: test everything, study. But one quest to learn more about God damaged my faith.
“An Ant Pondering the Nature of the Divine”
Like an ant
attempting to ponder the theories of Einstein
I’ve questioned and researched and pondered your nature
Are you physical, like us
or just a spirit with no substance?
do you dwell in another dimension
or are you imbedded in ours?
how can you be ever-present
in all of your creation?
are you energy or matter or both?
do you have a face? A place?
Paradoxically
seeking to see your essence
has hindered intimacy
a vain attempt to grasp the ungraspable
So maybe knowing you
exceeds knowing about you
yet I still struggle to do both
Ironic, how that attempt to better understand an infinite God boggled my finite mind. But in the search, I found three truths that helped keep me sane and faithful.
1 Knowing some of God’s nature is a vital part of following him. God often describes his traits, one of the most astounding comes near the end of Job, after he faced tremendous trials, three friends gave some miserable advice, then God confronted Job in chapters 38-41, here’s a taste from 38:4-7 before you read them all on your own, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?”
God reveals much of his nature, but I saw a God so transcendent that I couldn’t get my mind around him. I like reason and facts, and my failure temporarily diminished my faith.
2 A search to know about God can hinder faith. That happens when value knowledge of him more than knowing him personally. Even when we don’t fully get him, even when we have questions. Relationship is central. Probably my favorite verse says, “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent” (John 17:3). Life began that way in the Garden, as God walked with Adam and Eve in the evening (Genesis 3:8). And every Jewish male made this daily prayer, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5). We may know all about God and not know and love and serve him personally, and lose all. So, let’s be aware of the danger and choose wisely.
3 Balance these truths, realizing that knowledge of God is intended to know him better. The last line in the poem acknowledges the struggle, I continue to do both, but keep the most important in mind.
What helps is realizing I’m an ant, incapable of fully grasping the immensity of God. I need to live with some uncertainty in that arena, yet remain certain of our connection, of striving to know and love him with all my being.
Kick Starting the Application
Do you tend in one direction or the other? Which is safest short term? Which is best long term? In practice, how can you let knowing God be more important than just knowing about him?