The face and name of a one-time date in my single days has faded, but a line she used seared itself into my memory. I mentioned that I wanted to do something, but wasn’t able to. She responded, “My big brother says we all do what we want.” I’ve pondered that, and concluded it had some truth. We examine our options, weigh the benefits versus the price we pay, and do what we most desire. Some truth there, but it seems somewhat simplistic.
We often desire multiple and contradictory goals simultaneously, and don’t always have the resources to achieve them. Mix in our human frailties and weaknesses, and the complexity increases. So let me rephrase the issue. We can do what we desire, when we desire God’s best and rely on the gifts of the Spirit in our lives. In this last of our series on the fruit of the Spirit, let’s examine his fruit of self-control, which we nurture as a process.
Two questions pop into my mind. First, how do we navigate our conflicting desires? I suggest we acknowledge that God, as our Creator, knows what is our best, even though it often contradicts our sin natures, our habits, our pleasure, our laziness. Jesus used the metaphor of a shepherd whose goal is to bless and enrich his sheep, “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:9-11).
Yes, we have other voices, but let’s give prime importance to yearning for his best. But that brings up the next question: how does self-control fit into the mix? The Spirit’s gift of self-control flows from his nature into ours, and basically means that we have the power to say yes to the good and no to the bad. Once we choose God’s best, then we follow Paul’s example, “I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:12-14, NLT).
Once we desire God’s best, as did Paul, then we regularly remind ourselves of that. We realize it’s an ongoing process. Not even Paul achieved perfection on earth. We realize this takes work and pressing on. And, with the power of the Spirit, we choose to say yes to whatever brings us closer to a heavenly prize. And with that same power, we choose to say no to whatever moves us farther from Christ Jesus. Self-control, to live the best.
Kick Starting the Application
Of these two options, which is your driving passion? If it’s true that we do what we most desire, what would family and friends say is most important to you? What weeds most threaten to choke out your fruit of self-control? How can you start the process of change this week?
PS this material in greater depth is available in my first book, Deep Down. If you’re interested in a signed copy, just PM me on Facebook or email at timriter@aol.com.