image from Daily Excelsior
Our world seems to be growing in harshness. Language has become more coarse and abusive, just look at much of social media. Road rage is frequently on the local news, and mass shootings have increased from 269 in 2014 to 647 in 2022 (four or more shot or killed, https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/). My mantra in earlier years was “don’t get mad, just get even.” I suspect many others share that. When wounded, we strike back: verbally or physically or economically or socially. Our search for “justice” merely increases bad behavior. And yes, that has some biblical support.
“An eye for an eye” in the Old Covenant was a method to bring some justice to a society with very little justice system. If an enemy killed your family member, you couldn’t kill ten of theirs—just one—that was progress! But long term, living an eye for an eye brings a world of the blind.
Then Jesus flips the script with a goal to decrease bad behavior, by giving us the Holy Spirit. He provides the fruit of gentleness in our lives, along with a command, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). The two are linked.
Think of gentleness, not as weakness, but a God-given strength to control our attitudes and actions, so we can deal with people according to their needs and not our emotions. Gentleness is a character trait that demonstrates a mild disposition and a temperate, considerate spirit. Gentleness allows us to choose the best, most godly way to respond, without automatically reacting as harsh, angry, abusive, or violent.
Sometimes gentleness expresses itself with firmness and power, but as a godly choice, not our natural human reaction, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).v
Tempted how? By exceeding the bounds of gentleness.
How shall we cultivate this gentleness that God loves? First, we nurture our relationship with God and the Spirit. We think of them. We study their word. We spend time with their people. Then we identify our triggers—what most tempts us to respond with harshness and anger.
And when we get attacked, or abused or taken advantage of, before reacting according to our human nature, we choose to respond with our spiritual nature—gentleness, and valuing the one who attacked. Yes, that is hard and not natural. But it’s godly. And it makes the world a better place for all.
Yes, this post will influence my driving. And other arenas. Hope it does yours as well.
Kick Starting the Application
One a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being I rarely respond in gentleness and 5 meaning usually, where do you rank? Are you satisfied with that? For you, what triggers increase the harshness of your responses? How can you increase the gentleness of your responses this week?
PS this material in greater depth is available in my first book, Deep Down, if you’re interested in a signed copy, just PM me on Facebook or email at timriter@aol.com.