Yes, social media can often come across as unsocial, or even anti, but it enables us to establish new relationships and rekindle some from earlier days. Facebook taught me a great spiritual lesson not long ago. Two good friends faced serious health issues at the same time, one with COVID, the other with cancer, and I asked if I could share their need on Facebook. The former agreed and wanted to stay anonymous, with good reason; John Prothero, the latter, allowed the use of his name and picture. At least ten times as many responded with an emoticon or comment for John with cancer—with a name and pic. Ironically, the COVID guy shares many times the number of friends, but none knew who he was. So what was the insight?
The more we know of a person (like a name and face vs. a silhouette), the better we respond. The more depth results. And yes, the name and image stand as metaphors for all dimensions of human life. So how can we carry out Jesus’s mandate to his followers that we love others as we love ourselves?
Step 1, grasp that God values good connections. That begins with the godhead: three persons so tight that God called them one, but used the plural in Genesis, “God said, ‘Let us make man in our image…’” (Genesis 1:26). God walked with Adam and Eve in the evening. Connection. Jesus said people will know we’re his disciples if we have an observable love link between us (John 13:35). Solid connections help us by building support systems, providing strength in weak times, knowing that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. But how do we build those vital relationships?
Step 2, we open ourselves. John was willing to put himself out there, and many responded. Frankly, this doesn’t come naturally for this deeply introverted loner. But I get what God says about our need for healthy relationships. So we grow in transparency. We improve relationships where we can honestly share our lives, our joys, our sorrows. Jesus said that changes relationships for the good, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Jesus revealing himself was a key step in moving them from followers to friends. But for healthy connections require another step.
Step 3, we provide a safe place where people can be open with us. We first do that by giving the grace we get and desire. We desire to get below their surface, to see them as more than a silhouette. We listen and ask questions. We don’t gossip about what they share. We follow Proverbs, “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (Proverbs 18:22). We make the transition from wanting to be understood to wanting to understand. Without ignoring sins and issues, we don’t expect perfection and forgive its absence.
Frankly, we risk a lot when we do this. But we gain more of the abundant life Jesus brings when we journey together.
Kick Starting the Application
Which steps are easiest for you? The most difficult? Why? How can you better be a name and face, not an anonymous silhouette? How can you better see others?