At about thirteen, when I’d grown enough to be a fishing partner in the rugged Sierras, Dad initiated me into the mysteries of the fine art of pulling trout from mountain streams, a skill his grandfather had passed on to him. Learning from the master, we became fairly competitive on catching both the largest and most. Three years later, I landed a 16-inch rainbow on Oak Creek, huge there. I felt pretty confident I landed the largest of the trip.
Moving south the next day to Independence Creek, Dad quietly pulled his line from a hole and called me over, “There’s a big one there, but he quit biting for me, but maybe you can get him. Just drift the bait over the falls.”
That trout had just one bite left in him, and I got him. 15 ½ inches, just under mine. For years I teased him that he knew this trout was smaller and didn’t want to lose by so little. Much later, after he passed, the truth hit me. Yes, he knew the trout was big, and feared beating my fish of a lifetime. My competitive father sacrificed for me. A lesson in love that took me too long to recognize.
Our world needs this. We look out for #1. We want it our way. We view others as obstacles. And look where our self-absorption has led us. School shootings continue to increase. Road rage abounds. Culture has coarsened. Partisanship powers politics. It reminds me of a phrase in Philippians 2:21, “everyone looks out for his own interests.”
The antidote? We need the fruit of the Spirit, particularly the first: love. Sacrificial love like Dad demonstrated. Not a selfish urge to get our needs met, but to serve others. And we learn how to love from God’s love, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Love: doing something to benefit the one we love. Not based on their likeableness, but the value that every person has in God’s view. Not an emotion, but action.
So how do we cultivate this fruit? Two gardening tips.
First, have a conscious, continual sense that EVERY person we interact with is loved by God, as much as he loves us. We begin to view people as objects to bless, not as objects who get in our way of our desires. Honestly, I hate this concept, because I struggle to do it, yet I know how transformative it can be.
Second, think about how to balance our needs and those of others. Yeah, we can multi-task here, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:3-5).
Kick Starting the Application
For you, what is most difficult about this type of loving others? Why? Maybe pick out a person this week, one you regularly interact with, that is difficult to love, and find something you can do to benefit them. Then, keep it up.