Desperate for you?
Absolutely.
Once.
In a time long past
In a youth long gone
Ready to jump at just your word
Ready to give
Ready to do
anything
Then came jobs—even ministry tied me down
Then came marriage—a connection that killed independence
Then came mortgages—responsibilities that required a job
a good one
Retirement crept closer
life closed in
And outside forces
determine my destiny
And I love you.
Still.
But desperate?
Not quite
I can’t refuse that unholy cocktail of responsibility and comfort and tiredness
You deserve much more from me
Some scriptures haunt me. Some blast away my excuses and rationalizations.
Here’s one. In Mark 9, a father asked Jesus’ followers to heal his demon-possessed son. They couldn’t. In desperation he approached the boss himself and said, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
Without much subtlety, Jesus responded “If you can?” He didn’t seem impressed by the man’s faith in his ability to heal. I can see the father’s point; after all, his own disciples had already failed. Jesus continued, “Everything is possible for him who believes.”
Then came the stunning response, much like the poem above. “I believe. Help my unbelief.”
I’m a strange cocktail of belief and unbelief. Of stunning spiritual successes and just as stunning descents and stretches of unholy comfort. From decades of ministry and hundreds of conversations, I suspect the father and I aren’t alone. Too many of us sit on the couch, comfortable yet apart.
I’m comfortable with God. Too comfortable. I need to risk more. I need to sacrifice more. I pray you’re not like me.
Kick Starting the Application
Do you share that unholy comfort? What causes that? What can you do to get less comfortable with his challenges? Are you willing to ask him to do that?