Clouds rolled in
shutting out the sun
its warmth
energy
and joy
leaving life in shades of gray
letting darkness reign
even penetrating my soul
The sun then
blasted through the mist
a column of light connecting sky to earth
reminding me
the sun shines even when obscured
Activities of every day
worries
fears
failings
form the clouds of my life
hiding your light
even penetrating my soul
Blast through
once again connect heaven to earth
remind me
you always shine
even when obcured
Amaze me
once again
We enjoyed 22 years in Temecula, an old west town in southern California. The native inhabitants named it--where the sun rises through the mist, as the photo shows. The morning fog delayed the onset of hot afternoons, then the evening southwest breezes brought relief. Life was good. But some mornings, honestly, I wondered if the sun would ever break through.
But some other mornings were more bleak. Almost overcome by the stuff of life, God seemed distant, almost not there. Of course I knew he was omniscient, just as I knew the sun circled above. In the poem, I mentioned that some clouds formed from my failings. Don’t take that necessarily as spiritual. Rather, like my race, I’m imperfectly human. My talents and drive don’t always yield the results I want. Sometimes I choose goals I cannot reach, and the inevitable frustration gets to me.
When I wrote the poem I taught English full time at a local Christian high school. We English teachers may be the most masochistic, with the time demands of grading essays! Simultaneously, the last stages of writing a Master’s thesis consumed the last fragments of free time. And….well, you get the picture. The details vary, but most of my race share the busyness.
Unlike an earlier post, I wasn’t stuck as much as occupied. I made the decisions, the commitments. And I paid the price of distance from God, the God I loved above all. But you couldn’t tell by my calendar.
In the poem, I asked God to blast through. Reality differed. Some of those clouds I needed to dissipate. Others, only he could do.
KICK STARTING THE DISCUSSION
What activities in your life most obscure God’s very real presence? How did they creep in? What has worked to allow the sun to break through? What hasn’t? Any lessons you’ve learned that you care to share?